SmartphOWNED

Xbox

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:30:00 -0500

Dad
Dad I caught u playing sex with a random person last night!
500$ and u won't tell mom!
What, oh crap! I ,i meant xbox! WTF dad

Dick Me Up.

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 23:00:00 -0500

Father
Hey dad can you dick me up at 6?
Sure honey right after im done with your mom!
Oh shit. I meant pick me up! You were kidding right?
Dad?
Holy shit you weren't kidding!
Sorry my phone died Im about to come pick you up I just finished dinner with your mother.

dad

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:30:00 -0500

DylanDUDE I JUST FUCKED MY WIFES SISTER SHES GOOD
DAD!!!!!
Uh oh I meant to send it to ralph
I'm telling mom!
If you don't tell her I'll buy you a car and take you to the stripper club
DEAL!!! I LOVE YOU DAD!!

He's Finally dead??! Heck yea!

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 22:00:00 -0500

MomYour brother is dead, can you go pick him up?
That bastard is finally dead? And why the hell do I have to go pick up his ugly corpse??
What??!!! I mean *done!! He's *DONE with practice, can you go pick him up?
Wait...
Uh...I <3 you mommy?
Whatever. Just go pick him up...

halarious

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 21:00:00 -0500

hey:)
hey:)you were sooo wasted last night
i don't remember last night
when someone came and stole your TV you ran after them screaming ''WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR REMOTE''
so that explanes why i don't have a TV

text talk

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 20:00:00 -0500

Jessicahaaaai wot r u up2?
Picking out your birthday present.
OMG wot iz it?
A dictionary.

Rubber

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 19:00:00 -0500

DerekDude guess what
What
Im going bungie jumping want to come??
Hell no i came into this world cause of broken rubber and i aint goin out the same way

cinnamon

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 18:00:00 -0500

momhey mom, where's the cinnamon? someone dared me to do the 'cinnamon challenge'
WHAT?! NO! someone died doing that.
someone died from giving childbirth but that didn't stop you...
you are being a smarta$$
i know
STOP IT

dumb girl

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:00:00 -0500

MacI accidently fucked your best friend :/
And? We're not going out. I don't really give a shit :/
But I love you and always have...
You're not the smartest girl are you

bitch

Tue, 18 Jun 2013 15:00:00 -0500

bitchHey, who is this. someone changed my contacts.
Your girlfriend. whats my name?
Bitch
Who exactly changed your contacts?
My mother.

My GF and Me

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 23:30:00 -0500

U doin watWhat are you doing?
Studying
What are you doing?
At the club, Standing behind you.

No reply

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 23:00:00 -0500

KenBabe why are you mad at me? Please reply
Im pregnant
Im breaking up with you
Really still no reply!?
I broke your xbox along with all your games!
SON OF A BITCH!

Ungrateful

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 22:30:00 -0500

H.K.Son, me and your mom are going to McDonalds, what do u want?
Big Mac and McNiggers
What?
OH MY BAD!! -.- McNuggets, sorry Autocorrect....
Yeah Sure, Autocorrect
...

Literally rolling on the floor laughing.

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 22:00:00 -0500

See that picture of the giant jellyfish I sent you?
Yes! Ugh.. It's so horrible. Does it sting?
Yep, it has 250 testicles.
Shit! No! Tentacles! I meant tentacles!!!
You just don't know how hard I'm laughing right now.
So am I.

thats messed up

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 21:00:00 -0500

bestiei hate you i hope you fall into a volcano
i hope you get pushed into a pit of acid
i hope you choke on broken glass
i hope you step on a lego
thats just cold