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Damn Unicorns

Other - <p><p><strong>BestfriendSo who's going tonight?People.Really?</strong></p>
<p>I thought unicorns were going.Nope.</p>
<p>They had another party to go to.Damn unicorns.</p>
<p>They think they are so popular.</p>
<p>The only reason why they were invited is because they are so horny.</p></p>

Wrong chick

Other - <p><p><strong>BrotherHey baby I can't wait to try these new condoms out on you tonight.</strong></p>
<p>=) I'm gonna fuck you so hard!Umm....</p>
<p>I think you have the wrong number..</p>
<p>This is your sister...OMFG!</p>
<p>LIZ DELET THAT MESAGE RIGHT NOW!Oh hell no, I'm saving it.</p>
<p>I just showed mom and I sent it to barbara and dad they are laughing their asses off.Fuck you....Um no that would be incest =).</p></p>

GROUNDED X.X

Other - <p><p><strong>Bff:)Soo...</strong></p>
<p>Well you know how I banged that girl the other night and didn't wear a condom?</p>
<p>Well I think she's pregnat but I don't know lol :)WHAT?!</p>
<p>YOUR SOOO GROUNDED!!WERE TALKING TONIGHT!OH SHITT!!</p>
<p>WRONG PERSONYES OH SHIT YOUR ASS HOME NOW!!!</p></p>

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drunk dad

Other - <p><p><strong>Kevhow drunk was I last nightyou thought you were a wrestlerwhat happened?you challenged a 8 year old to a fight and got your ass beat...</strong></p>
<p>He made you tap out and you cried for 50 minutes afterwho was it?your son.</p></p>

punishment

Other - <p><p><strong>JulianSo this one time when I was four I walked in on Mom and Dad doing it, and we're all pretty sure I witnessed your conception.WHY WOULD YOU EVER TELL ME THATIt's your punishment for keeping the whole house awake with your girlfriend last night.</strong></p>
<p>We all agreed on it....we?I think it was Mom's idea actually.Anyways, happy 4th of July!</p></p>

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